"Remember [Discover] who you are!"

As I listened to Angel Zimmerman's recent BYUMS Women in Business webinar, I was fascinated to hear her starting point for her remarks on time management.

"If you are going to master time, you need to know who you are."

This resonated in a place deep within me and reiterated principles that have been tapping at me for months. For example:

- I recently listened to a story about a young medical resident who was diagnosed with cancer. He'd spent hundreds of hours working with others to navigate facing the possibility of death, but now he was the patient receiving counsel from his doctor. In this difficult situation, he craved the (false) certainty from statistics about his chances of beating death (of having more time). His doctor refused to give him such numbers. Instead, the oncologist's focus was on inviting him to focus on what mattered most to him. Whatever time he had -- whether five weeks, five months, five years, or five decades -- she wanted him to get in tune with living his life with integrity to what he valued most. It left me pondering what I value most and how/if my life choices mirror those values.

- Eva Witesman, an associate professor in the Marriott School, gave a phenomenal BYU Devotional address on women and education. I loved the way she began her speech because it reminded me of a landmark talk Julie B. Beck gave years ago. Both Professor Witesman and Sister Beck reiterate the importance of seeking and receiving personal revelation. Sister Beck notes that "The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life." She reminds us that

A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important.... But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently.

Professor Witesman also quoted Virginia Pearce's striking warning. “[W]hen we feel that we must protect and defend ourselves . . . , our energy is used counter-productively and our learning and the learning of others is severely limited.” What better way to guard ourselves from this kind of insecurity-driven, time-sucking self-defense than to be grounded in God through personal revelation?

- On a lighter note, as I was scrolling through my dear cousin's Facebook wall, I ran across this quote: "Oh the places you'll go and the things you will see, if first you realize who you can be." ~Dr. Seuss

(The list could go on. ...A friend's raw, personal Martha-Mary story.... My husband's recent tender mercy experience after jettisoning his to-do list to do what who he really is led him to do.... )

I think so often, we think about who we are in terms of what we do. After all, "So what do you do?" is often the icebreaker question in any getting-to-know-you situation. But does that question really get to who we are? It's so easy to stay on the safe surface with each other and within our own lives.

I'm reminded of what President Monson once said:

We become so caught up in the busyness of our lives. Were we to step back, however, and take a good look at what we’re doing, we may find that we have immersed ourselves in the “thick of thin things.” In other words, too often we spend most of our time taking care of the things which do not really matter much at all in the grand scheme of things....

I don't pretend to have this figured out. (Even as I was writing this post, I got distracted by Facebook and news stories, an all-too-common occurrence for me.) I'm a work in progress! But I do notice that I've made progress over the years. I am better at making decisions based on what God has shown me about who He is and who I really am. I trust Him more to guide my life rather than clinging so tightly to my will and plans, too. I am less fearful, less worried about what others think. The more clear I am on God's plan (and His plan for me), the easier it is to prioritize on a daily basis, and to find a deeper sense of joy and purpose in this journey called life.

What helps you get clarity about who you really are and what you value? What helps you stay centered on what matters most even as you tackle the necessary to-dos of your life? How do you cut through the clutter to get personal revelation for your life -- not just about the to-dos but about who God wants you to become?

"Remember who you are." ~The Lion King

Developing and Sharing Your Talents

As a child, I started playing the violin at eight years old with my elementary school's orchestra. After a few months, I asked my mom if I could have private lessons in order to become a better violin player. My violin teacher growing up was Mrs. Helen Mendel, and during one of my violin lessons with her, she had me listen to a recording of a performance by Itzhak Perlman. I remember listening to his violin playing and being so moved by the sound he projected that I told my violin teacher that I wanted to play just like him one day. She responded to my ambitious goal by reminding me that in order to play like him that I needed to practice as much as he had in his lifetime.

Some background on how Perlman became one of the greatest violinists in the world - he started playing the violin at three years old, and just a few months later he contracted polio and lost the use of his legs. He now walks with crutches and performs while seated. Even though he has played in concert halls around the world, appeared on Sesame Street, done a solo performance for the movie Schindler's List, won 4 Emmy Awards, 15 Grammy Awards, and a Lifetime Achievement Award in 2008, all of these accomplishments pale in comparison to his true passion which is to teach the violin to others.

He and his wife, Toby, founded the Perlman Music Program in 1993. Seven years later, they purchased an old 28-acre resort and made it into a campus on the shore of Shelter Island, New York. When the wind is right, the sound of music carries across the channel to Long Island's North Fork. Between tours, Perlman teaches at the Julliard School in New York. Perlman also has done several benefit concerts to end polio, a cause that is very close to his heart.

How did Perlman develop his violin talent? It might surprise many of you to learn that as a child, Perlman hated to practice the violin, but one day he asked himself "Why am I practicing the violin and what are my goals in practicing the violin?" This made him do a self-examination of his motives for practicing the violin. He soon realized that in order to become a better violin player, that he needed to change his attitude on WHY he was practicing the violin and HOW he was practicing the violin. He started to focus on practicing the violin with a purpose like creating a better sound or working on his intonation. The more he practiced the violin, the more he realized he had to be organized with specific goals each day of what he wanted to accomplish

His advice to his students is this, "If you practice something wrong-without knowing it-then you have to undo it by practicing even more." He tells his students that if they practice slowly and with true concentration, that they will be more productive in their practice time. This reminds me of the scripture Matthew 25:14-30 about the three servants who received five, three and one talents. I find it interesting that the servant who received five talents created five more new talents.

I admire those individuals in life who not only are willing to develop new talents, but are also willing to share their talents with others. In the Liahona Magazine October 1993, President Elaine Jack reminisces about her grandmother’s talents. "She made all the children’s clothes, knit their socks and mittens, milked cows, churned butter and sold it, raised chickens, ducks, and turkeys, was a counselor in the Relief Society, and gathered wheat.As hard as all that work she did sounds, is any less required of me? I don’t have to do the same physical things Grandma Low did, but I have to be just as industrious, just as compassionate, just as frugal, just as prepared for the winter as she was. This is my heritage.”

What experiences have you had in developing and sharing your talents with others?

Saying "No" in Order to Say "Yes"

Last month, Angel Zimmerman (Managing Partner, Zimmerman and Zimmerman, PA) gave an excellent webinar on time management. If you missed it, you can catch the webinar here. One of the things I love about webinars - you can listen to the recording later if you over-schedule yourself and run out of time.

If you're anything like me, time is often a struggle. I personally always think I have more time than I actually do. "Oh, I can squeeze in just one more email before it's time to leave." And then I'm late. At one of my prior companies, my colleagues joked about Michelle Standard Time, which is precisely 2 minutes late to everything. Not the best way to gain a reputation. 

So how do we fight the urge to do just one more quick thing? One of the points Angel made in her webinar was the importance of saying "No." And the reason for saying no is that you want to say "Yes" to the next opportunity. Sometimes saying no can be difficult - perhaps you're a chronic over-achiever, or a deeply-rooted people pleaser; however, saying no to things that are less important actually gives you the freedom to say yes to the things you really want and need to do.

A couple years ago I read Greg McKeown's book "Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less" which addresses this very notion of the power of saying no. Greg asserts that by saying no to the wrong things, we have the time to pursue the right things. I actually read this book just prior to having my first baby, and it was the best book I read in preparation for motherhood. I felt freer to say no to unimportant tasks and focus on time with my brand new baby. And when I returned to work, I focused on the most important work items and let go of a multitude of unimportant tasks that would have taken more time away from my family.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson summed up these ideas about essentialism in his April 2015 General Conference talk:

Many things are good, many are important, but only a few are essential.

How has saying no helped you better focus on the essential things in your life?

How to Make the Most of Being Mentored

I am a strong believer in finding mentors to help you further your career. I have had two very influential mentors in my career that have not only given me great career advice, but have also involved me in consulting projects that they were working on where I gained valuable experiences. In both incidents, I approached them and asked if I could learn from them. I know it can be awkward asking someone to be a mentor to you, but it may not be as hard as you first think. The worst thing someone could say to you is that they do not have time to mentor you. Many other individuals are more than willing to help out when you come prepared to them with specific questions.

The first question you need to ask yourself is why do I need a mentor. What skills or skill set am I trying to develop in myself that a mentor can help me with?This is very important to define exactly what you are trying to gain knowledge in so that you do not waste your time or a potential mentor's time. May I also add here, that you might not know what you are missing in your skill set until you talk to a lot of different people asking them how they gained the knowledge you are seeking after. This might lead to different mentors at different stages in your life.

Personally, I wanted to be an Enterprise Risk Management consultant in 2009 and I knew that even though I graduated from the University of Utah in Environmental Risk Management, a somewhat related field, that I needed further knowledge in the evolving field of Enterprise Risk Management. So my solution was to seek after those individuals that had established themselves as experts in this field by either offering training to others or by the articles and books that they wrote on the subject.

When we turn to the scriptures, there are many examples of good mentoring. Jesus Christ was a mentor to us all. His mortal ministry is filled of examples on how we should keep the commandments as well as serve our fellow man. Proverbs 1:5 states, "Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance." This is a very insightful passage of scripture because it clearly states that when receiving words of wisdom from a mentor, we need to be humble to accept the advice given even if we ,at first, do not understand the advice.

Following the advice given to us by our mentor is equally important. Many times we do not fully comprehend what it will take to gain new knowledge. For years, one of my mentors emphasized with me the importance of observing those organizations that were successful at implementing an Enterprise Risk Management program. At first, I thought my mentor was repeating himself over and over again and where was the additional advice I so desperately needed to advance in my career. It is not until now, some eight years later, that I have realized the wisdom in his words. By observing many different organization's Enterprise Risk Management programs, I was able to understand what worked and what didn't in their Enterprise Risk Management programs. Only looking at one example was simply not enough for me to understand the process.

Currently, I am mentoring an MBA student at Westminster College. I also appreciate my MBA student being prepared for our meetings and giving me enough details on her project management assignment that she is working on this semester. I think it is very important to be appreciative of the time that a mentor is spending with you, so always be thankful for their time and work around their schedule. Also offer to help them out with a project they are working on. Any little bit of experience you can gain in a collaborative effort will pay big dividends in the future.

Have any of you had a positive experience with a mentor that you would like to share on the blog?

Ordinary Women, Extraordinary Lives

If you haven't yet taken the opportunity to listen to or read the BYU Women's Conference addresses from our new general Relief Society leaders, I would highly encourage you to do so. (Find various ways to access their talks here. I'm quoting Sister Bingham in this post, but you won't want to miss Sister Eubank's keynote and presidency address and Sister Aburto's heartfelt talk.)

Many things that these powerful, faithful women shared are relevant to the purposes of this blog. For example, it's so clear that our leaders know our hearts and our struggles trying to figure out how to have balance in our lives and to make important decisions. Listen to these words from Sister Bingham: 

“Many of us have questions....What model should I choose as my own path? How can I express my individuality and develop my particular talents? What is the best timeline for me to pursue an education or further a career or focus on my family? What is my role in the kingdom of God on earth? How can I fulfill my divine potential? These questions can trouble our minds and hearts."

So often, we can be fearful in navigating these questions, but our leaders constantly urge us to be centered in the truth of our divinity and to trust God to help and guide us. 

I'm reminded of this quote from Elder Scott:

Throughout the ages, many have obtained guidance helpful to resolve challenges in their lives by following the example of respected individuals who resolved similar problems. Today, world conditions change so rapidly that such a course of action is often not available to us. Personally, I rejoice in that reality because it creates a condition where we, of necessity, are more dependent upon the Spirit to guide us....Therefore, we are led to seek personal inspiration in life’s important decisions.

Perhaps you remember Sister Beck saying something similar, specifically addressing the complexity of women's lives "The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life."

There are no easy answers to the kinds of questions that weigh on our minds and hearts as women in today's complex, last-days, hastening-the-work world. But I, too, rejoice in the reality that we will never fully find our specific answers "somewhere out there." The most powerful women I know are those who are grounded in God and in their confidence in His guidance. Each of us has work to do! But for each of us, how that unfolds will be a little different. (Be sure to read Sister Eubank's keynote and how she explores the richness that comes from the combination of our unique gifts and missions in life.)

Again, here are thoughts from Sister Bingham:

The wonder of [God's] heavenly economy is that every single one of us can be spectacular because of our unique bundle of talents and abilities. Unlike the world, in His kingdom there is no winner’s platform that only has room for one or two. Each of His daughters has been taught and prepared and gifted premortally with marvelous potential to become a queen in the celestial kingdom.

And each of us has unique gifts and talents that God will use in His time and way to allow us to be instruments in His hands at this critical time in His work. In truth, there is no ordinary work when it is consecrated to and guided by Him.

So, what “extraordinary thing” will you choose to do? Choose something according to your available time and resources. “Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means … but be diligent.” Whether your “work of salvation” is largely in the home at this time in life or your influence extends to a global scale, or somewhere in between, the Lord is pleased with your efforts when you are focused on serving God’s children and the eternal goal of returning to Him as a “new and improved” version of your spiritual self. ~Sister Jean B. Bingham

I'm excited for this blog to be re-launched, and for us all to engage with each other as we seek God's help -- and each other's support -- in finding our personal places in God's grand plan and the hastening of His work.

How have you felt God's guidance in the unfolding of your extraordinary story? What helps you embrace your life where it is at the moment?

Welcome Back!

About a year ago, leaders and members of the worldwide BYU Management Society began to meet and discuss opportunities for a Women's Network within the society. Many of us (men and women alike) were enthusiastic about supporting women in their various endeavors, and we began discussing ideas to connect like-minded women globally.

We experimented with a few ideas and ultimately determined that a webinar speaker series addressing career and personal development would be the most effective method for reaching this large audience. We've had several fantastic speakers over the last year address topics such as finding balance, building a business, planning for flexibility, and challenges women face in their careers. However, the time limits of webinars don't allow us to address all of the questions and topics submitted by interested listeners, and thus we determined it was time to rejuvenate this blog.

The purpose of this blog is to connect women from all stages of their careers and lives to discuss personal, educational, and career development in the context of faith and moral, ethical leadership. We encourage thoughtful, kind discussion as we begin to address the myriad topics brought forth by women of faith across the globe. We hope you gain new insight as you follow this blog, as well as provide support to your fellow women seeking to learn and grow. In essence, we hope this blog can become a community of faithful women helping one another reach their goals.

We recognize that each of us has different goals and aspirations. President Nelson describes well some of the different qualities to which we can aspire:

The kingdom of God is not and cannot be complete without women who make sacred covenants and then keep them, women who can speak with the power and authority of God!

President Packer declared:

“We need women who are organized and women who can organize. We need women with executive ability who can plan and direct and administer; women who can teach, women who can speak out. …

“We need women with the gift of discernment who can view the trends in the world and detect those that, however popular, are shallow or dangerous.”8

Today, let me add that we need women who know how to make important things happen by their faith and who are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world. We need women who are devoted to shepherding God’s children along the covenant path toward exaltation; women who know how to receive personal revelation, who understand the power and peace of the temple endowment; women who know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families; women who teach fearlessly.

We hope that each of us can bring our different skills, interests, and aspirations to this discussion as we seek to improve together. What topics would you like to see addressed in upcoming blog posts? Leave a comment below.

Being Creative and Compassionate

In October 2008, President Deter F. Uchtdorf addressed the women in the Church with this quote, "He is a God of creation and compassion. Creating and being compassionate are two objectives that contribute to our Heavenly Father's perfect happiness. Creating and being compassionate are two activities that we, as His spirit children, can and should emulate."

I have thought about this quote often in recent weeks and reflected on how true it is. When I am doing something creative or showing compassion towards someone else, I feel so much happier in my life. There are so many disruptions in each of our lives that pull us away from these two truths. Yet this is divine insight for all of us on who are Heavenly Father truly is. He is our Creator and the Father of our spirits. His greatest joy is to see us progress in this life through our own creative endeavors and through our compassionate service towards others. If you see life in that perspective, the rest of our challenges and trials seem quite moot.

What have been your experiences with being creative and compassionate?

Staying Home, Staying Connected: Keeping networks and skills active while at home full time

This is a loose compilation of thoughts and ideas from women who were involved in the Women in Business conference who have stayed home and been deliberate about keeping an active network and résumé and skill set along the way -- even in simple and small ways.

Ideas for Keeping an Active Network

- Create and/or maintain a LinkedIn profile (update at least once a year, even if you only alter a line or
two to reflect volunteer/service opportunities). Try to connect with people you know from school, from
former jobs, and from other settings.

- Keep business cards in your purse (or diaper bag!) with your contact information (e.g., email and LinkedIn information).

- Find joy in learning about others -- at church, at the park, at the school, at the store. Practice getting out of your comfort zone. Where appropriate, ask for business cards and/or how to connect with them through social media. Spend a little bit of time occasionally reaching out to a person or two with whom you have connected in this way.

- Look for ways to connect people you have met with others who might benefit from knowing them. Networking can be as much about helping others as about helping yourself.

- Look for online groups in LinkedIn, on Facebook, on blogs, etc. with people with similar interests/
backgrounds. Read discussions occasionally; have a goal to comment as well.

- If possible, allocate the time and financial resources to attend a conference (or two) every year (or
two).

- Get involved with your local Management Society chapter.

- See if there is a professional organization in your area that meets together. Attend a meeting on
occasion.

- Connect deliberately with other women who are in your similar stage of motherhood. It’s important to build that kind of support network, too. (As you do, you may also find other women interested in business/ professional development!)

- Practice talking in positive terms about yourself, your motherhood, your choice to stay home, and your
interests in business. Be prepared with what you want to say when people ask, “What do you do?”

Ideas for Keeping Skills and Résumé Current

- If you haven’t finished your degree, keep that goal in your sights. It’s often easier to finish earlier than later. But later is better than never. And timing is always best guided by God.

- Define what skill set you have developed through education and past experience (your own “core competency”) as well as what skills you are using in church callings or other service opportunities (e.g., volunteering at schools). Ponder what talents and skills you feel God may want you to develop or use.

- Practice talking about your skills with others. (OR, decide what kind of skill set you want to build and try to do some of the below with that goal in mind.)

- As you network with others, look for simple opportunities to offer your skills or time (even a couple of
hours once a month/quarter/year volunteering to help with a defined project, fundraiser, activity, etc. can
give you some experience and exposure). This can also be to create opportunities to associate with those
from whom you may want to learn some skills.

- Consider finding a mentor in your area of professional competency/interest. (BYU's Alumni Database
is a possible resource, as is the Advisory Board list on the Marriott School Website.)

- Shadow someone for a few hours who is in your area of professional competency/interest.

- Subscribe to (or regularly read) relevant industry publications, even if only online. There are also many groups on LinkedIn, on Facebook, on blogs, etc.

- If you don't already have one, consider a subscription to The Wall Street Journal, The Economist, or other reputable news/business magazine or newspaper. (Or read from such sources online.)

- If relevant for your profession, keep up continuing education credits or licenses (or at least know how to do that if the need arises).

- Consider resources like TED or Khan Academy for resources for skill- and knowledge-building.

- Again, if possible, allocate time and resources to attend an occasional conference as part of your family calendaring and financial planning. (Or if you can’t attend, read conference proceedings, etc.)

- Include your mothering skills and needs in your efforts to “keep skills sharp.” There are a multitude of resources available (books, free online networks and resources, conferences, etc).

- Take a class (one-time class, a college class, an online class).

- Teach a class or mini-class (e.g., community education, church activity, classroom presentation)

- Find ways to include your children in volunteer or other efforts, and/or focus “on the side” endeavors in ways that correspond with and support them in their current stages of life.

- Enjoy learning with your children, and teach them things you may be learning along the way.

- Look for ways your family might be able to share some experiences that could also build up your résumé (e.g., family service project to support a local non-profit).

- Write regularly, whether in your journal, on a blog, in a family letter update, or just on your computer in a word processing program about topics that interest you. When you send emails, look for opportunities to practice using good business communication skills.

- Look for opportunities to also practice oral presentation skills at home and elsewhere. (e.g, Teach your children how to use PowerPoint and practice giving presentations to each other.)

- Attend an occasional LDS Employment Services seminar on topics such as résumé building or interviewing skills.

General Thoughts

- You’ll be more effective at staying connected if you are first effective and deliberate about your choice to stay home. Honor this season; be bold and positive about your motherhood (and be patient with the process of learning that goes along with this role). The confidence that comes from being grounded and focused with regard to your eternal roles will show in everything else you may do, and can prevent doing things for the wrong reasons (think of Sister Beck’s recent comment about the risk of doing things to “escape” covenant responsibilities).

- Consult often with God and with your spouse. Ponder words of the prophets, scriptures, and your patriarchal blessing for guidance as you consider what gifts and talents to develop/use, and how/when/where to use them, and as you consider how goals to skills and networks active may play a role in your family’s emergency preparedness plans.

- Embrace the concept of times and seasons. There may be significant periods throughout your mothering where you feel all your time and energy needs to be spent focused on your family. There may be other times when you feel prompted to give some attention to education or professional development. Sometimes there may be a mixture of the two. (Again, personal revelation is key.)

- Be willing to revisit decisions and time/energy allocations frequently. Life and family dynamics can and do change regularly. Also, remember that children often can't (or won’t) vocalize their needs; be sensitive to how your decisions create much of their reality.

- Be aware, brutally self-honest, and deliberate about how you spend your time. It’s easy to waste time when bored, tired, stressed, etc. Be precise about personal and family priorities (scripture study, prayer,
FHE, date night, recreational activities), and tighten your own at-home time usage. Even short spurts of focused time on a regular basis (whether that be weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly, etc.) could help toward a goal of keeping some professional skills, knowledge, and connections active.

Tips for Successful Networking

Jennifer Armitstead spoke about best networking practices at our first North Texas Women in Business of the BYU Management Society event. I thought the handout was so good that I asked her for permission to reprint it here. I hope you find it as useful as I have!

Tips for Successful Networking

1. Don't network unless you first know who you are.

2. Before attending an event, know why you want to go.

3. Do your research on the guest speaker. What question would you ask them if you had 3 minutes alone to talk with him/her?

4. ALWAYS have business cards. Include: name, phone number, email, website, picture if it's a professional headshot. www.vistaprint.com is a great site for nice cards at a reasonable rate.

5. Dress the part. Think of the event and dress appropriately. Find a way to dress authentically to your style and brand. Is there something you can wear that showcases your personality?

6. Show up 15-30 minutes early. People who arrive early know that networking is the key to success, those are the people you want to know.

7. Get involved in the group - join a committee, get on the board, etc. There are simple ways to help ou that don't require a lot of your time, but the exposure in the group will be helpful to you!

8. Schedule the event. As soon as you get an email announcing an event, put it on your calendar. Don't wait, because other things will always take your time if you haven't planned for networking.

9. Have a plan of who you want to meet at the event. Examples: Meet 3 new people in the accounting industry. Meet someone who needs help with job search and introduce them to someone who might be able to help.

10. Keep going back. It does you no good to attend one meeting and then never go back. Unless the group doesn't meet your interests, attend as often as possible.

11. Use social media to connect with people after the event. LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter are all great ways to continue developing your relationships.


Jennifer Armitstead is a Career Coach and Corporate Talent Consultant. She has coached 1000s of people on how to improve their careers and consulted with dozens of companies to attract and retain the right employees She is the Executive Producer and Host of Job Club Radio.

For more information: www.MovingForwardSolutions.com

Toward a More Family-Friendly Workplace

This post was submitted by Kaylie Astin who recently launched www.familyfriendlywork.org - a website aimed at improving family-friendly benefits in the workplace. I hope you'll visit her site and contribute your own story!

When I heard Quentin L. Cook’s conference talk in April 2011, I did something I don’t usually do when I’m listening to General Conference: I stood up and cheered. “I would hope that Latter-day Saints would be at the forefront in creating an environment in the workplace that is more receptive and accommodating to both women and men in their responsibilities as parents,” he said. Over the next couple of days, I couldn’t stop thinking about his words. This was an invitation for LDS people to actively get involved in the fight for family-friendly workplaces. That conference weekend, I suddenly knew that’s what I was supposed to do.

Before his talk, I’d been thinking about these issues for a while. Like many women, I quit my job when my first baby was born. Actually, I quit everything. I thought I wouldn’t need any of my interests anymore because I was going to dedicate my life to my children. I’d forgotten to calculate that beneath the loads of laundry and baby blankets, my personality was still buried in there.

I was ambitious and smart. I liked to try new things. Money was scarce.

But I was nursing my baby and wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. My previous job didn’t offer any kind of maternity leave, except for the accrued vacation time I’d already cashed out. If I worked again, how would I find part-time work when most part-time positions would barely cover child care? And speaking of child care, what would I do with the baby while I worked? Could I ever leave my baby without soul-crushing guilt?

I wasn’t ever able to answer these questions to my satisfaction, so I spent the next few years making my way through a variety of at-home endeavors while taking care of the three children that eventually became part of the family. Sometimes I was successful, sometimes not, but never well enough to dispel the desperation constantly haunting my brain.

So when Elder Cook spoke those words, I was already passionate about change, but I didn’t know what to do to help workplaces become more family-friendly. I didn’t have a conventional job where I could make a difference within the organization. Write a book? Become a career coach? Buy a plane ticket to Washington, D.C. and lobby Congress? There were many possibilities, but I was unsure about what direction to go, especially since I knew very little about business and didn’t have the credentials for most people to take me seriously.

I started by gathering all the information I could. I lived in the library, looking for books and perusing magazine articles. I found newspaper articles, reports, and research online. By the time I went to BYU’s Women in Business Conference in 2011, I’d been studying family-friendly workplaces for six months. Our keynote speakers focused their remarks on work/life issues. They cited studies and talked about how women could ask for the balance they sought. Throughout the conference, many women spoke about making decisions, finding mentors, feeling guilt, being criticized, and fighting against inflexible workplaces.

I realized what the world was missing—a place online for LDS working women to get information and to talk about these issues. How do you deal with guilt when you have to work even though you’ve always believed you were supposed to stay home? How do you go back to work if you’ve been home for several years? How do you ask your workplace for maternity leave or a flexible schedule if they’ve never given it to anyone else before?

I poured my research into the website. I wrote about issues such as sick leave, parental leave, flexibility, child care, and elder care in the workplace. I also included some issues specifically important to women—single motherhood, breastfeeding, re-entry, discrimination, and culture. I included a section about how employees, citizens, and employers can make changes. I also added a blog, a forum, and stories from real women in the workplace.

Then, in February 2012, www.familyfriendlywork.org was born! And I’m far from finished. I hope this site can become a place for LDS working women to learn how to make family-friendly changes in their workplaces, and I also hope working women can talk to others about the issues they face every day. This is one dream I felt inspired to pursue, and I hope my site helps working families everywhere.

New Year's Resolution Ideas for Women in Business

It has been gratifying to talk with and hear from women who attended the BYU Women in Business Conference last fall. I still find myself thinking about topics that were discussed, and hope the conference continues to have an impact as we consider our personal and professional goals for 2012.

A conversation with one attendee has stuck with me. I spoke with her just days after the conference. It was clear that the work/life balance discussions had had an impact on her; she went home and immediately began having discussions, both on the personal and the professional front, about the topic. She talked with her husband about concrete ways they could balance their work and family life better. (They are empty-nesters, both working full-time.) She also went right to work that next Monday, opening up dialogue with her colleagues about how she, as a manager, and they, working together, could help make their workplace more sensitive to and supportive of the issues surrounding work/life balance. (This topic has so much potential, on so many fronts, for resolution ideas.)

Another person whose clear goals have impressed me is Chrysula Winegar. She continues her work in the sphere of family and work life balance by taking a stand for stay-at-home motherhood, opening up conversations in multiple contexts about how to have motherhood be more respected, less punished, in the professional sphere...so that women who do choose to stay home can someday, if they then choose, have the ability to re-enter the workforce. (Resolution idea: Read articles that not only support women in the workplace, but talk about how to support professional women who choose to stay at home. Spoiler alert: Solutions lie not only in the professional sphere, but with those of us who are mothers. We have to deliberately and visibly value our motherhood if we want it valued in the professional sphere.)

I've loved seeing discussions on our Facebook page about these topics as well. Kudos to the women who are reaching out in our Facebook group for help and ideas with their new ventures (non-profit and for-profit). (If you are interested in the panel from the conference on starting your own business, you can listen to it here.) 

Speaking of Facebook, I'd love to see more discussions, on more topics, with more networking on Facebook. (Have you joined our Facebook group yet? There's a simple resolution idea -- to join and participate in our Women in Business Facebook discussions.)

Another example of real action that took place as a result of the conference was summed up in Stephanie's last post, Starting a Women's Group. (Resolution ideas: Join your local BYU Management Society chapter, and/or help start a women's group within your chapter. Listen to the panel discussion on this topic if you haven't already (or review it if you have). Connect with other women, like Stephanie and the panelists she mentions in her post. Brainstorm and share more ideas for helping facilitate networking and mentoring for women in business.)

Whitney Johnson's HBR and Dare to Dream posts contain great advice on the topic of mentoring. You can listen to her conference presentation here. (Resolution ideas are present in Whitney's ideas for both mentor and mentee. Also, have you signed up to be a mentor of business students? You can sign up to volunteer here. Read other great mentoring tips at the Marriott School website.)

For me, as a stay-at-home mom who values highly the notion of staying professionally connected and current, I left the conference both with a renewed determination to be focused in my efforts to keep my professional self alive, but to also be more focused, more centered, regarding home life. The combination of the work/life balance discussions, the mentoring equation advice (time and energy really are limited!), and the spiritual undercurrents of many of the talks (especially by Cathy Chamberlain) combined to have a significant impact on me.

I'll be exploring more of my own takeaways in a future post, so for now, I'd like to ask you: What professional goals are you focusing on this year? What talks/panels/discussions/contacts/experiences from the conference have had an impact on your goal-setting? Comment here or on our Facebook page, or write about it on your personal/business blog and let us know where to find your post!


[This post has been edited slightly from the original.]

Starting a Women in Business Group

One of the panels I attended at the Women in Business Conference was "Building Women's Networking Groups". As a panel organizer, this particular panel was my idea after reading this article in the Marriott School alumni magazine called "Women's Groups Growing for Management Society" (scroll to bottom of page). I have the task of starting the women's group for my local BYU Management Society chapter, so I was really interested to hear how the women on the panel suggested I get started.

The panelists were Jennifer Armitstead, head (and founder) of the Salt Lake Women's Group, Maria Pribyl, President of the Silicon Valley Women and President-Elect of the Silicon Valley chapter of the BYU Management Society, and Pat Bluth, who organized a women's group within a corporation she worked at. The panel was moderated by Rixa Oman, Executive Director of the BYU Management Society.

You can listen to a recording of the entire panel here on the Women in Business Conference website. The purpose of this blog post is to share some of my notes from the panel and how I have put them into action in starting my local group.

I summarized my notes into this action plan:

1. Just do it. If you decide you want a women's group, start it!

2. Send out a survey to women you think might be interested (you could start with all the women in your local chapter of the BYU Management Society). Ask them what they want from a networking group. What are their needs? When is most convenient for them to meet? Would they be interested in serving on the board?

3. Establish a purpose - Why are you going to get together? You could develop a motto or mission for the group. (Silicon Valley Women has one: Silicon Valley Women provides opportunities for all women to develop LEADERSHIP capabilities by...fostering mentoring relationships, creating educational experiences, and increasing networking skills and contacts.)

4. Set up a board (so you don't have to do everything!)

5. Don't reinvent the wheel. Piggyback on the BYU Management Society as much as possible.

6. Create a social media network so relationships can be developed online. The panelists suggested Linked-In.

7. Write a regular column in your local BYU Management Society's newsletter about the group.

8. Reach out to women one-on-one. But don't limit membership to women! Include men who care about women's issues.

9. Be okay with simple. It is easy to make it too complicated. One group had everyone bring soup and talk.

10. Make sure it is very professional. Some people think women's groups are an extension of Relief Society, so keep it professional.

11. Keep it inexpensive.


I took these notes (and help from Jennifer and Maria, who graciously offered their mentorship in getting me started) and went to work. I first approached the President-elect of my local chapter and suggested we start a women's group. She said, "Great" and put me on the Executive Committee of the chapter with the task of starting the group. Step 1 accomplished!

I then sent out a survey to all the women in the chapter and other women I know personally to ask for their feedback. The survey was very helpful. I was picturing meetings over lunch, but the feedback I received was that the women prefer to meet in the evenings at an event with little or no cost, so I adjusted the plan.

We are naming our group after the precedent established by the Silicon Valley and Salt Lake groups. Our name is the Dallas - Fort Worth Women of the BYU Management Society. Our focus will be on networking and discussing professional skills topics unique to women.

Our first event will be on Tuesday, January 31 at 7 p.m. Jennifer Armitstead (also a career coach!) will speak to us about networking and then lead us in a speed networking activity.

We have three more events planned throughout the year and plan to stay connected via our Linked-In group.

I hope this group will be a strength to women in any life stage who are interested in "ethical and moral leadership" in the DFW area. And I hope that any of you who are reading this and thinking, "Hmmm. I'd like to be a part of a women in business group in my area" will take the initiative and start with step 1 - just do it!

(If you would like help or assistance in starting your own women's group, please leave a comment. We'll get you in contact with people who can help!)

Developing a Career Path Despite Uncertainty - Casey Hurley

Casey Hurley, faculty member of Law and Communications in the BYU-Idaho Business School, was on the "Develop (and Determine) a Career Path Despite Uncertainty" Panel of the Women in Business Conference. Casey shared her Career/Life story on our blog in October. Part of the impetus for asking Casey to be on this panel was a fantastic article she wrote called "What if 'Plan A' Doesn't Work? Helping Female Students Navigate an Uncertain Life Course". For this post, we asked Casey to summarize her remarks on the panel as an introduction to her article.

I started thinking about the uncertainties of planning a career path particular to LDS women a few years ago when I noticed there were seldom many women in my business classes. Conversations with colleagues, students, and other women led me to conclude that many young LDS sisters continue to assume that traditional female careers are the most appropriate or "mom-friendly," and they make educational and career decisions based on that assumption, which is often false. I was shocked to hear about some of our married BYU-Idaho students dropping out of school because they "didn't need a degree anymore."

We all know women whose educational choices have either opened a range of possibilities for them or have limited their options. I think of a friend with a degree in information technology who married in her late 20s after working hard at her career during her single years. When she married, she had the option to transfer, then telecommute when her kids were born. Her education gave her flexibility at different stages of life. Now she is at home with her kids. On the other hand, I know a woman with a large family who did not have similar educational opportunities who went to work as a restaurant hostess when work got scarce for her husband.

I stared to lie awake at night worrying about our BYU-Idaho students faced with the difficulty of making important decisions that would either expand or limit their opportunities. Clearly some of the difficulty for them lies in addressing the uncertainty about when and how their training will be put to use in their future roles as wives and mothers. The difficulty and significance of the problem weighed on me until I decided to write something about the need to provide our students the type of guidance I wish I'd had as a student. When this article was published in our faculty journal, Perspective, I hoped it would ignite discussion and encourage better minds than mine to invent new ways to help our students. The article has had some circulation beyond Rexburg--in fact it connected me to some of the fabulous women behind the BYU Women in Business Conference. This conference is exactly the sort of exposure students need to examples of faithful LDS women applying their education in a variety of ways. There remains work to be done on this front--even at our Church schools we just don't do a good enough job of appropriately prioritizing, even sanctifying, motherhood while helping our female students prepare for a breadth of life possibilities.

"What If 'Plan A' Doesn’t Work? Helping Female Students Navigate an Uncertain Life Course," Perspective, Volume 7 Number 2, Autumn 2007

Doing Our Part to Champion Family-Friendly Workplaces

Elise Jones was one of the participants in the conference and has a particular interest in helping create family-friendly workplaces. She is a work/life consultant and founder and president of E Jones Consulting.  Most recently Elise led the diversity effort for Microsoft’s Mobile Communications Business and served as a workplace flexibility advisor to several Microsoft executives. During her seven years at the company Elise founded a flexwork-focused employee affinity group and was instrumental in establishing flexwork initiatives in several business units companywide. Elise is the 2005 recipient of Microsoft's Business Empowered by Diversity Award.

In April 2011 General Conference, Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve addressed the decision facing many mothers of whether to work outside the home. Having confronted that choice under various conditions in my own life, I appreciated his urging to stand confident in decisions made under the influence of counsel, study, and prayer, whether they result in taking time away from paid work or whether they lead us into the workplace full or part time.

One comment Elder Cook made struck me with particular force: “I would hope that Latter-day Saints would be at the forefront in creating an environment in the workplace that is more receptive and accommodating to both women and men in their responsibilities as parents.”

All members of the Church have an opportunity to stand up for a workplace that honors the role of parents and caregivers. Whether that means joining with others to lobby for more flexible work options or simply stating our needs when tensions between work and family mount, each of us can make a difference in building a family-friendly workplace.

As part of my efforts to help employers build family-supportive environments, I’m conducting a study looking at factors that influence whether mothers and prospective mothers take advantage of work/life supports provided by their employers, and with what effects. The results will contribute to a text aimed at organizations wanting to support mothers as part of a multicultural workforce.

If you’ve been in the workplace while pregnant, caring for a child under age 18, or while undergoing fertility treatments or seeking adoption, I hope you’ll take my online survey and share your insights on how employers can positively influence mothers’ experiences in the workplace. If this profile doesn’t fit you, please consider passing the invitation on to someone who might appreciate the chance to participate. The survey takes 15-20 minutes to complete, and all qualifying participants will be entered to win a $25 Amazon.com gift card.

Having worked with groups to build and implement work/life supports, I have seen firsthand the impact workplace flexibility, part-time work, and other offerings can have on workgroups and on individual employees and their families. Such progress requires vision, dedication, and hard work from not only company leaders, but also each individual within the organization. If you haven’t already, I hope you’ll consider what your part might be in this important effort.

What are you or the people around you doing to create or support a family-friendly environment at work? How are those efforts received?

Using Skills for Service -- Kris Anne Gustavson's Remarks

Kris Anne Gustavson was on the "Using Skills for Service: Serving in the Church and Community" panel of the Women in Business Conference. Kris Anne and her husband, Paul, have a company called Organizational Planning & Design, founded in 1985. From 2007-2009, they used their professional skills as service missionaries for the Church. Below, Kris Anne summarizes some of her experiences and thoughts she shared on the panel. 


I went to BYU and majored in Recreation Education. While some were in their accounting classes, I was learning how to canoe. I’ve used my degree every day of my life since then. My husband and I got married after we both graduated. He went on to grad school, majoring in Organization Design, while I supported us financially. I regret that I didn’t enroll in the program and get my masters as well.


In 1985, we started our own company, Organization Planning and Design, Inc. I work part-time, using my recreation degree to create team building sessions and initiatives with some of our clients.


I also got certified in the Herrmann Brain Dominance Theory so I could do workshops helping organizations understand learning preferences and how to use that in communication, teaching, learning and problem solving effectively.


My husband and I were approached by the church Human Resource Department about using our skills to benefit the church. We suggested that we do it as a church service mission. We started in May 2007 and committed for 2 years. My husband committed half of his working time to give to the church. I did almost that much but not quite. He would go to Utah often, and I was able to do most of my work wherever I was at the time. He worked on redesigning some of the core services that the Temporal Affairs provides for the church, such as accounting, materials management, humanitarian, etc. I was involved in interviewing individuals who were applying for paying jobs at the church. It was a standardized telephone interview, so I could do it from anywhere. I also conducted Brain Dominance Workshops for organizations within Temporal Affairs. We traveled to Hawaii, England, Germany and Russia in our mission, but most of it was done in Utah. Our mission lasted for 2 years.


This is an example of my history in serving. I haven’t often gone out searching for service, but instead service opportunities have come to me.


One year at my children’s school, I went to the Room Mother’s meeting, thinking I would sign up for a small job for the year and discovered that I was the only mother that showed up, so I ended up heading all the Room Mothers.


Service seems to be in the DNA of women and we seem to be prone to serve. We relate more to the words, “compassionate service” than men do. When we serve we are doing that which comes natural for a lot of women. Even when service occurs that would not be described as “compassionate service” most people feel good when they serve. That is why I serve. It makes me feel good.


Once I was called to be the Stake Camp Director. I thought, now here is a chance to use my education to serve in the church. What I discovered is that although my recreation education certainly helped me in that calling, the most significant skill that was needed in that calling was the ability to deal with the adults in the stake. So, you may not think that you have the skills necessary for the service required, and may discover that a completely different set of skills are actually needed.


When asked what my advice would be to those who have young children in the home without much spare time, how they can serve I will tell you this. There is no greater service than what you can give to your family members. If that is all you have time to do, then you are providing the best service you can. Unfortunately, some individuals would say that caring and raising children is not as noble as working for pay. But if a person owned a daycare center or a laundromat or a chauffeur service for pay, they would be considered a professional. Just because we don’t get paid to do such things for our family, we might think that it is not important work. I would say to you, that it is a mistake to think that. It is the most important service you can ever do.


There are service opportunities right at your computer. The church has a site called Helping in the Vineyard. Quoting the website:

Helping in the Vineyard provides service opportunities that can be completed in minutes. Participants from around the world spend as much or as little time as they like completing the activities online. As a result of the thousands of acts of service, the Church is able to publish and share more resources worldwide. (http://vineyard.lds.org/).

There is also the name extraction program [Family Search Indexing] that one can do on the computer in little bits of time.


And of course, if we are active members of the church, then we have a church calling that would be considered service. Whether it be a primary teacher, a position in Young Women or Relief Society or in the nursery, we are serving.

Using Skills for Service - Neylan McBaine's Remarks

Neylan McBaine was on the "Using Skills for Service: Serving in the Church and Community" panel of the Women in Business Conference. Neylan founded the Mormon Women Project, which led to a position with the church working on the I'm A Mormon campaign. This is her summary of her remarks on the panel.

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Although Becky Douglas came to our "Using Your Management Skills for Service" panel concerned that she hadn't brought management skills to her service but learned them on the job, I came with a different concern: My efforts at service had led directly to a paid job. As the founder of the Mormon Women Project (MWP), a digital library of interviews with LDS women from around the world at www.mormonwomen.com, I had been invited by the Church's advertising agency of choice, Bonneville Communications, to work on "I'm A Mormon" and other missionary-driven initiatives. Did the fact that I was now making money through my Church work discredit or devalue the service I had originally set out to offer through the MWP? Had I sold out for "filthy lucre"?

I answer a resounding no for several reasons. First, the MWP is still going strong and I am dedicated to continuing that effort in the face of professional constraints on my time. The goodness that results from those volunteer efforts has not diminished. In fact, it has only been strengthened by the support I receive from my professional workplace. Second, I believe it is a damaging fallacy that women in the Church cannot "serve" our communities through paid work. Although much of our people's heroic humanitarian efforts and local fellowshipping is done quietly and without reward, Mormon men with paid jobs are regularly recognized for the good examples they are in their work communities, the productivity or acclaim of their work, and the (mostly) positive attention they bring to us as a people. (Steve Young, Bill Marriott, or Brandon Flowers, anyone?) I am not comfortable with the assertion that men can be both paid workers and contributors to the betterment of our communities, while women have to choose between either work or service. My work at Bonneville, while paid, empowers me as a member missionary, offers me a productive outlet that makes use of my unique professional skills and allows me to be an ambassador for the church in a professional industry.

As I discussed in our panel, I had an ideal example growing up of a woman who's work seamlessly permeated the boundaries between profession and service. My mother sang for 18 years at the Metropolitan Opera in New York City as a professional opera singer. In this job, she served to pave the way for many future LDS opera singers who have sung from the Met stage since then, and, more importantly, she helped establish a culture of acceptance and recognition for LDS singers within her industry. In addition, she offered her skills liberally to the Church community, traveling the country as I was growing up and performing firesides, appearing in official Church videos, singing for prophets and apostles whenever asked. Although retired from professional singing for many years, my mother continues to stay busy performing in sacrament meetings, funerals, conferences, etc.

We are a volunteer church and that is one of our greatest strengths as an earthly organization. However, that doesn't have to mean that all goodness flows from efforts that are purely sacrificial. I know that the Lord prepared me for years and years before I got the call from Bonneville, building my skills, molding my heart, strengthening my family so that when the time came for me to work for the Church, I was ready.

Using Skills for Service - Becky Douglas' Remarks

Becky Douglas was on the "Using Your Skills for Service: Serving in the Church and Community" Panel of the Women in Business Conference. She is a co-founder of Rising Star Outreach, a non-profit working with leprosy colonies in India. These are her reconstructed notes of her remarks on the panel.

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Unlike the others on the panel, I didn't bring any management skills to my area of service; instead I had the reverse formula: I gained Management Skills as a result of my service.

As a mother of ten children, I didn't have time to pursue and develop business management skills. When I started Rising Star Outreach, it was by inviting three friends (all homemakers) to join me around my kitchen table. I also pulled in my husband's secretary--mostly, because she didn't dare say no!

I quickly found out that I needed quite an array of Management Skills in order to run an international charity. Some of those included

• Raising millions of dollars to support the cause. That involves speaking at engagements across the United States, and sometimes in foreign countries.
• Obtaining government and legal licensing both in America and in India for the charity and to run schools.
• Running an overseas operation with 55 native employees in India.
• Putting together and leading two Boards of Directors; one in India, one in America.
• Overseeing accounting and auditing teams in both America and in India. (When I started Rising Star, I didn't even know what a spreadsheet was!)
• Creating and sustaining four thousand micro-businesses through micro-finance.
• Overseeing teams of doctors & nurses running mobile medical units to provide needed medical care to over 50 leprosy colonies in three very diverse States in India. Providing for hospitalizations and surgeries.
• Running elementary and secondary boarding schools, providing teacher training, and curriculum for schools in India. Also providing training for housemothers.
• Producing newsletters and keeping Sponsors communicating with children across the world.
• Running a volunteer program involving 250 volunteers a year; including travel arrangements and programs on the ground. Providing opportunities for interns. Providing study abroad opportunities for colleges.
• Setting up social networking campaigns including FaceBook pages, Twitter accounts, and blogs. Also create and maintain an international data bank.
• Running publicity campaigns including production and marketing of documentaries; creating a website, creating pamphlets, giving interviews for newspapers, television, and radio around the world.
• Overseeing personnel matters in organizations across two continents.
• Running arts programs, including a dance program involving dancers from Broadway and the top dance conservatories in America, as well as the creation of choruses, and supporting art schools for the leprosy-affected.
  

I had none of these skills when I helped to found Rising Star. I just felt that something needed to be done to help those affected by leprosy in India, so I took action.

The good news is that I've been able to slowly develop the needed skills. The skills that were beyond me, I was fortunate in that, in every instance, God provided someone who had the skills we needed. So I challenged the conference attendees not to hesitate to get involved in meeting needs out of fear that they didn't have the necessary management skills. At Rising Star Outreach, we frequently marvel that we seem to live the parable of the Fishes and the Loaves every day. We provide the two fishes and the five loaves of bread, then we marvel at how God makes it feed 5,000! God owns the universe, and my experience is that He brings it to those who lift their hands to help the disadvantaged and the the downtrodden. He knows how to do His work! We need to try to move ahead with faith in His promises.

Discussion ensued about the demands of home and family. A question was asked about a "time and a season for all things". I replied that I had spent 25 years raising my ten children before starting Rising Star Outreach. During that time there were many opportunities for service that helped prepare me for the work I'm doing today.

It seems that, as women, we almost all face times when we have to make decisions in balancing our homemaking duties and our outside interests. Like everyone else, I've also had these struggles. As a trained professional violinist, I earlier had to decide how best to pursue my career without compromising care of my children. At one point, with a number of children, it became an impossibility for me to continue performing at a professional level without seriously impacting their growth and my commitment to them. Each of us has to make these decisions based upon our own inspiration and personal revelation. What we don't have to do--thank goodness--is judge anyone else's decision!

I commented that I have to answer to a lot of people. I have to answer to my Boards of Directors, to my major donors, to government agencies, to sponsors, and to the parents of the children in our schools. However, the most serious accounting I will ever have to do will be to my Eternal Heavenly Father, for how I treated and trained His own children that He entrusted to me. I encouraged participants to follow the guidelines of the Proclamation on the Family. What a blessing it is to have prophets to guide and help us!