Today, Michelle Linford shares some of her story below. Michelle will be participating in the "Staying Home, Staying Connected" panel.
I grew up in a home where both marriage/parenthood and education were highly valued; there was never any question that both would be a priority for me. I entered college ready to tackle both, however and whenever that unfolded. I couldn't have imagined how different my life would end up being from my original plans.
I grew up in a home where both marriage/parenthood and education were highly valued; there was never any question that both would be a priority for me. I entered college ready to tackle both, however and whenever that unfolded. I couldn't have imagined how different my life would end up being from my original plans.
My original idea to get a degree in computer science eventually morphed into something much less practical. As a junior, I declared a major in Psychology. I had no idea what I was going to do with that major, but I did feel it was a step in a right direction.
I’d never thought I’d serve a mission (never had the desire to serve, actually). But a few months before my 21st birthday, I found myself considering it. Still, it didn’t “click.” I fasted and prayed to confirm my decision not to go. Long story short is that I had a 180-degree change of heart; a week later my papers were in. I served in South America.
I returned from my mission just in time to start Spring term, where I had planned to start classes for two minors (Spanish and Statistics). My goal was to pursue a Ph.D. in Psychology after graduation.
And then out of the blue, an idea came: get an MBA.
I should note that there were only a handful of majors I had ruled out as an undergraduate. Business was one of them. So this idea came as a bit of a surprise. But things fell into place in miraculous ways. For example, because of an unexpected twist of (then-frustrating) events before my mission, I had just enough credits to be able to graduate in time to enter the MBA program that fall. My emphasis was in Organizational Behavior – a perfect complement to my undergraduate studies. Through graduate school, I felt like I was living a dream I never knew I had. I loved it!
Of course, there were parts of my dream that were still unfulfilled. I sometimes quip that I should have gotten a tuition refund -- twice -- after getting two degrees from BYU without finding a husband. I’d dated quite a bit and had opportunities to marry, but had not felt right about any of them. Add to the fact that I moved to a state where no singles ward even existed, and I worried that maybe I had missed my chance for marriage and family.
But still, my life was rich and full. I loved my work as a business consultant. I poured my heart into my church callings and work in the temple. Anytime I considered moving to a different place where there were more LDS singles, I just had a quiet, peaceful feeling that I was where I needed to be.
Almost two years to the day after starting my career, I met my husband. My mission president's wife (my mother-in-law’s good friend) connected us. Fifteen months after we married, our son was born. We both felt strongly that I should be at home, so I quit my job. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom ever since. Two other children joined within two years (very unexpected!). But health problems have meant we haven’t been able to have more, so we are so grateful our precious ones came when they did.
I’ve been grateful to have the option to stay home. I should note, though, that I didn’t start out as what you would call a ‘natural mother.’ It’s a role I’ve had to grow into over the years, and it’s challenged me in ways nothing else has. But I have known being home has been right for me.
I’ve also come to know that being home doesn’t mean that I have to pack away all that I was before motherhood came into my life. It’s taken a lot of trial and error, but just as doors opened and ideas came through my single years, opportunities have come that have helped me keep an active network and current résumé -- even as I essentially haven't worked for pay for over a decade. Once again, I have found myself doing things I could have never dreamed of myself. In spite of challenges (such as continued health problems), I cherish the blessing of being home more than ever, and I appreciate the experiences I'm having that continue my personal and professional development. I'm a volunteer on an alumni board for the Marriott School, student mentor, managing editor of mormonwoman.org (a missionary-minded website sponsored by the More Good Foundation), and have been a participant in a variety of other projects along the way (such as helping with this conference).
I have come to believe through my experiences "that God can make more out of [our] lives than [we] can," and that He can help us know how to balance all the demands on our lives, time, homes, and hearts.
I have come to believe through my experiences "that God can make more out of [our] lives than [we] can," and that He can help us know how to balance all the demands on our lives, time, homes, and hearts.